Ungodly lover

I find you amoungst the rotting woodlands
and gentte green wings, cancerous!
burning clover

you decorate yourself
with leaves and berries
and hide in the lime trees

You are bone chilling
and vulruable
i hear your icy chants

You dress in black and white
like an ageing badger
I am your servent upon the toadstool
Oh how i love your tangled petal dress

with your swiss looks
and fantasy disbelifs

Have i silenced you mouth?
have i turned you colour blind?
have you lost your rosy cheeks?

I'm draining i know
I murdered the elf
I stabbed the God in you

I am as stubborn as the wooden rat
and you want me like a piggish turtle you are
The deers begin screaming and kicking
choas oh the choas

I'm twisting with your crow hands
I'm merging with your tree root feet
Keep your innocence
frozen untouched.

your beaded with bloodclots
the cat of the banister
your bellowing, bellowing
oh how ignorent of me

12/08/2009

Dear diary ♥

Daddy said there was fluid in his brain today, it was like someone had drilled a hole in his head and filled up with bleach. Daddy said he felt full up all the time. He didn't eat today, he never felt empty like me.Although when I was 16 I saw the bottom of his stomoch in his vomit so he must have felt empty, we all rushed to the hospital and my nan came round with her t shirt inside out to look after the cats. Daddy doesn't like phone call he thinks the goverment listen

.Love,
The flowerpot girl x

24/07/09

Dear diary ♥

When I was 17 I felt empty so I filled myself up with codeine, it was like popping sunshine seeds into my mouth.I didn't feel empty anymore. It made the floor blur white and then it was silence and darkness. I thought i was in hell, or heaven. I didn't mind. Now my mum has this medication tool box with a pad-lock on the front so I can't get in. Once i found it open, i was tempted but my mum run up the stairs and locked it again.Now i feel weird inside, i'm missing out on the secret.

Love,
The flowerpot girl x

The sawdust doll

I’m the water orphan
My lips as cold as tin,

You’re the dainty spirit child
Who eats half the pumpkin
And half the lover

I want to shred myself into sawdust
Like the fake little sawdust doll I am.
You’ve destroyed your dolly

Yellow shredding skin
Full of blood clots and sex,
Hints of Steam, temperature.

I want to bite into your tender thighs
And lick the lice from your French ears

I want to breath in the gritty dirt
Let it melt the baby inside of me

I want to drown in my fairy knickers
Barbwire and orgasm scraping through my sides

You live for the seizures of the devil
Full of bluebells and bolts of pleasure

I live to crawl timidly around the leeches
As artful as the angel
Full of owls and bird houses

You have sunken eyes
And lucky insect legs
I levitate like pollen
And you become the sex addict.